Nate Lanxon

Monday 4 February 2008, 10:06am

Hundreds crushed at London Euston

There are frequently moments in life where the difference between 'humans' and 'people' is obvious -- humans are actually very intelligent. On Friday, hundreds of people were stuck at London's Euston train station. There was a fire up the line and almost every train was cancelled; some were severely delayed.

"Great," I thought. "I've always wanted to follow my lunch with some light entertainment. I'll enjoy watching insanity unfold."

One of the most popular routes goes to Manchester and a train does the journey every half hour. On this day, however, several hours' worth of trains were cancelled and so about four trains' worth of people were waiting on the one that was about to make the journey.

Every eye was glued on the departures board like it was about to exhibit the cure for AIDS, or perhaps the DNA structure for a type of chicken that enjoys being eaten.

Finally, the board changed and the platform number was revealed. What can only be described as an explosion of desperate travellers ran, trampled, pushed and fought their way to the platform. It was relentless, like a supermassive black hole had arrived, sucking everything in existence furiously towards it, devouring them.

The elderly, the disabled, the slow and the blind stood no chance, as Britain's most stress-addled commuters put every last ounce of energy into being on the train in time to get a seat. Eyes glazed over, tongues flapped outside of mouths, and arms flailed like Michael Flatley's legs in Lord of the Dance.

Now on the train, the less fortunate take drastic measures to remain comfortable during their journey, such as the bloke below who, despite being ordered to move, stood his ground, so to speak.

Fortunately the bloke whose seat I stole didn't want it back, so I didn't have to pretend it wasn't his.

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