According to Baz Lurman's Moulin Rouge, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return". Of course 19th-century Paris hadn't been exposed to rampant consumer capitalism yet. These days everyone knows that the extent of your love can be precisely measured by the amount on your credit card bill at the end of an evening.
So, on with the spending spree. Which MP3 player will you buy your Valentine this year to celebrate the special day? For the classy but thrifty, the obvious choice is the 1GB iPod Shuffle. It says, "I loved you enough to get you an iPod, although it's the cheapest one of the batch". Your loved one can then tell friends and colleagues that you got her/him an iPod. Few will ask what model, and instead will simply assume you are an incredibly generous lover.
For the more contentious, the iPod nano is a full-blown iPod with a decent price tag to match. You'll be giving something of genuine worth, which your loved one can sell on eBay when the relationship ends in a painful showdown the following week. Stylish but alternative lovers will opt for the gorgeous Sony Network Walkman, which looks and sounds great. Beware the transfer software though, it'll frustrate whoever you give it to -- and not in a way that will drive their affections towards you.
Finally, for wealthy lovers -- the kind who must buy Rolexes and Cristal -- there's the Creative Zen Vision:M. But who would want to end up in a custody battle over something so desirable?